...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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