Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i believe in u and ur pee
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
