Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
