my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
