rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
