I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
