I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
