What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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