Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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