I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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