A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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