Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
