There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
