Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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