her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
