just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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