Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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