The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
