Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
