I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
