Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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