Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
