Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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