you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize