You're completely useless in the revolution.
do herpes really smell.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
did you just send me my own nude
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
