I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
