Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
