Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
