Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
