i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
