Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
