I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
