the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
