I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
