my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
