glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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