i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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