i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
