He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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