We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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