Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
