Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
