I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
