I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
this hospital has no fireball
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
