For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You took a bar mat shot.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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