She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
