She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
