I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
