you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
