Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
