Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
