yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
